December 15 , 2004

Welcome to the Sherpa E-Talk. It is my pleasure to E-Talk with Mr. and Mrs. Ang Phuri Lama. Mr. and Mrs. Lama come from Phaplu, Solukhumbu. Mr. Ang Phuri Lama born in 2008 B.S, in Solukhumbu Sallery-2 Phaplu and Mrs. Galde Lama born in 2014 B.S, Garma-8 Nimar were tied in matrimonial knot on 2030 B.S. Mr. Lama completed his Intermediate Certificate in Law from Nepal Law Campus. Mr. Lama served as a primary school teacher at Salleri for few years. He has also assumed the position of ward chairman, Sallery Village Development Committte Ward no 2, Phaplu. Mr. Lama was an elected member of Nepal Red Cross Society, Solukhumbu. He worked for fourteen years as an accountant for Agriculture Development Bank, Solukhumbu and earned himself a nickname of "Accountant Phuri." Mr. Lama was elected executive member for Sherpa Sewa Kendra, Kathmandu.

They are the proud parents of daughter Pasang Lhamu (currently pursuing a nursing degree in Camplom University, Canada), eldest Nuru (Board 5th 2045 SLC, B.A and M.P.A from Harvard University on scholarship and a recipient of John E. Thayer Award for academic excellence), Phudorji (a senior at Wesleyan University, Connecticut) and youngest Pemba Tsering (a sophomore at University of Maine and writer of a booklet on Sherpa marriage). Phudorji and Pemba were awarded Late Pasang Lhamu Vidya Puraskaar for their excellent performance in SLC, and they both have been awarded scholarship to complete their education at their universities. Nuru is currently working for Goldman Sachs.

Mr. Ang Phuri Lama: First, I would like to thank you and Sherpa Kyidug for giving us this opportunity to share our experience with our community. We also want to take this opportunity to wish all our Sherpa community members a very happy Losar and New Year.

We both grew up in simple, peasant families in Solu, and were fortunate to receive some schooling. We used to forage for dried leaves (patkar) in the morning before going to school and attended to farmwork in returning from school. Such was our life! Galde only studied till grade seven but was an excellent student. She had to cut short her education and hence she wanted to do everything possible to provide our children the best education possible. Our oldest son, Nuru, was doing well at the Salleri School and then he got scholarship to study at Budhanilkantha School. Many people thought we used "source-force" to get him there but we did nothing of that sort. His good progress at Budhanilkantha encouraged us, especially when he came on the Board in SLC. Nuru's success emboldened us further and there was no looking back for us. We were able to enroll Pasang at Mahendra Bhawan, and Phudorji and Pemba also at Budhanilkantha, although Pemba was at St. Xavier's School for a few years.

Mr. Ang Phuri Lama: It was not easy putting all our kids in boarding schools in Kathmandu. My clerk job at Agriculture Development Bank was a pittance. My wife worked very hard in our teashop at Phaplu, working from early in the morning till late night. We were very industrious. We did everything from selling apples and vegetables from our farm, milk from our cows, making and selling "syau ko raksi", and even what little of family gold jewelry we possessed so that we could put our children through good schools. Our teashop ran well and most people who came to the Phaplu airport or the hospital stopped by our teashop. "Evergreen Lodge" was quite famous! However, even with all our hardwork, the boarding fees in Kathmandu were very expensive. It was tough for us and sometimes we thought maybe it was not worth it but now we feel very happy about our sacrifice. I decided to quit my ADB job and move to Kathmandu, and with help from a relative of mine, I joined the rug manufacturing business. For three years, my wife stayed in Phaplu and ran the teashop whereas I was in Kathmandu running the rug factory.

We are also very grateful to Sir Edmund Hillary and his Himalayan Trust for providing some funding for Nuru and Phudorji's education in Kathmandu.

Now, our kids are all studying in the U.S. and our daughter is studying in Canada. It is even more expensive. Haha!! Phudorji has full scholarship and Pemba gets tuition scholarship. We are very thankful to our son, Nuru, for supporting Pasang and Pemba financially.

Many of our Sherpa parents are working very hard and trying their best to provide the best for their children. We encourage you to stay determined and not look for short-term returns. In the long-term, it will make you very happy, and your children will be very thankful for your sacrifice.

Mr. and Mrs. Ang Phuri Lama: Our sacrifice alone would not have been adequate in our children's educational achievement. We believe that home is the first place for education and hence creating a good environment at home with supportive parents is very important for kids to get in the habit of being interested in education and learning. However, critically important is role of a good school environment with teachers who provide proper guidance and monitoring, and a good circle of friends. Education is not just about schooling. Our children should also be taught good manners, everyday practical reality, and about our family and cultural values and systems. That way they develop a broader, deeper perspective.

Tsewang Sherpalama: What contribution do you think has your wife or your husband made for your children's education that they could not have done without the other?

Mrs. Ang Phuri Lama: My husband was working in Bhojpur and had been promoted but he actually asked for demotion and relocation to Solu so that he could be at home and take better care of our children's development, and also to be near me! Then, he decided to move to Kathmandu later on to start the rug business when we realized that our income is Phaplu was not all enough to support the family. I remember that in Phaplu he really wanted a pair of suit but we never had enough money, and so we decided against the idea. He has a pair now!

Mr. Ang Phuri Lama: My wife worked extremely hard at the Phaplu restaurant. She used to work so hard and we had so many customers, especially in the morning when the planes flew in from kathmandu that she had no time to eat. In Sherpa parties, I saw many women adorned in expensive jewelry and my wife wished for it too but instead, we even sold the little we had. I used to go to Kathmandu to buy stuffs for our shop (kirana pasal) and my wife had never seen the city. She wanted to go too but again, we decided it was too expensive for both to us to go. She finally visited Kathmandu for the first time in 2043. So, these are our sacrifices! My wife's contribution, her endurance and determination was the key factor, not only behind our children's educational success but also the real driver in bringing our entire family this far from our struggle as peasants in Phaplu. We have been extremely fortunate to have each other; we have understood and helped each other throughout, and hence even with all the hardship and challenges, we were a very happy couple and are still very much so.

Mr. and Mrs. Ang Phuri Lama: What we want to tell Sherpa parents without resources is that we too did not come from privileged backgrounds. Our kids when they returned during vacations from school in Kathmandu to Phaplu used to help us at the teashop and on the farm. You do not need to put your children to the most expensive schools for them to do well. What is important is that you provide them a good environment at home - be supportive and give them your time. We encourage you to be more active in the school where your kids attend and ask teachers of their progress. That way your kids feel that you really care about his/her progress. We actually believe that kids who understand the hardship their parents go through and the sacrifice they make are more motivated to work harder. By pampering your kids and giving them too much privilege, it can actually spoil them.

Mr. Ang Phuri Lama: In my day and age, and my limited world of Solu, I too was considered one of the more educated Sherpas. But in this big, high-tech, cosmopolitan city, I feel very uneducated and lost. The Sherpa population in New York is pretty large and growing. We all bring with us our culture and rich heritage, and feeling of strong community from Nepal when we come here. What is most important is that we be able to pass that on to future generations. That is our great responsibility. Otherwise, our identity as Sherpas will lack all substance, and it will be just superficial. In my stay here in New York, I have also observed that, although our Sherpa friends work very hard to earn money and save, there is a lot of extravagant spending on unnecessary things and events. I encourage all to be economically conservative and use your hard earned savings to productive use.

Ang Phuri Lama: I think it is human nature that growing kids need the love and warmth of their parents. But we also understand that parents who come to the US to make some money just do not have the time or the luxury to take care of their kids and hence need to send them to Nepal. We are a large community here now and I think instead of sending kids to Nepal, it would be very nice if we all worked together to open a day care center for our kids. We would like to emphasize that it is critical for kids to be with their parents, for proper guidance and love.

Tsewang Sherpalama: Do you think Sherpas living in US at present will ever go back to Nepal to live there? Should we? Shouldn't we and why?

Mr. and Mrs. Ang Phuri Lama: We all know, we moved from Tibet to Nepal and then to parts of India. So, migration has been part of the Sherpa story for centuries. Given the deteriorating political and economic situation in Nepal, and the ever-depressing future, thousands of Nepalese are leaving Nepal everyday. If the situation improves, Nepalese including Sherpas might return but what is more important is that wherever we go, we must preserve our culture and our strong community bondage, and maintain support amongst each other. Then, geography becomes almost irrelevant, and our community and identity will remain alive and strong. If our kids are given the right education and direction, wherever they are, they can make us proud even, without being in Nepal.

Mr. and Mrs. Ang Phuri Lama: It has been a long road for us, with many hardships and bitter-sweet moments. I am now 55 years old and my wife is 49 years old. We still have a lot of energy and plan to remain active. On the family front, we like to see our children do well and make progress in their career, and with their family. We look forward to seeing one of our children receive a PhD degree. We have been planning to visit Potala Palace at Lhasa and Buddhagaya. With the days ahead, we want to remain active in community service and look forward to witnessing a flourishing Sherpa community that is prospering educationally and economically. Ultimately, we want to pursue dharma.